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Si update.

I'm not sure how he is at the moment, he say's he's ok but I can see he isn't.

It's too darned hot for him at the moment, but we are also reducing the dex, 2mg pm, I think it is affecting him but not quite sure how, if you know what I mean? On monday we took 2mg off the evening time, he seemed fine until yesterday morning, it's just that he was doing so well. and this is a backward step,

He had a bit of a wobberly yesterday right leg paining and right hand a little bit shaky, not sure if he is going downhill again It looks like it to me but then I'm just waiting for it to happen, the careworkers were a bit concerned yesterday as well so maybe it's not just me.

He says he hasn't any pain yet he is having paracetamol about 3 times a day, I will keep an eye and see how he goes.

The hospice social worker has written to the witch and it was a really loverly, sensitive letter. We are still waiting but we can only wait so long I do not want Si going too far downhill, if he is to see the children on his special day [still waiting to arrange it,] he's hanging on for her answer, but we can only hang on for another week or two, I think he is going to go downhill again soon.

But let's not dwell on this, we have to still go on day to day, and I refuse to allow thoughts so negative to colour this time in our lives. Each day is a blessing and I am going to be as positive and colourful as I can, for his sake as well as mine.

Posted by hardtimes at 03:01 on Jul 24th, 2008

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Ideservemore	Posted on 12:47PM on Jul 24th, 2008 Sending you love and light....
swanfether	Posted on 04:22PM on Jul 24th, 2008 oh hardtimes, I can really hear how present you are being here, with Si, with the witch's drama, with the awareness you have inside and the need you are responding to outside. You are doing a delicate balancing act and I honor you for it. I know its not easy and yet at the same time, you have your boy there and you can love him in just the ways you are doing. You are making his journey so much better with all you are feeling and doing. I am in awe of you both. Your son sounds like a beautiful being. I will hold both of you (and all of the children) in my heart.
hardtimes	Posted on 03:26AM on Jul 25th, 2008 I am touched by all of the wonderful comments. I honestly never realised there was still so much love to be shared in the world. Sometimes I feel so lonely and afraid that the end is coming and unable to stop it that I just cry! then I think NO WAIT! I CAN stop it !!!!!!!!!!I can just pretend it's not real!!!!!!!!!!, but obviously I am deluding myself I know the truth it's just sometimes I wish I didn't. Thank you all at E.P. and all the friends I am making into the bargain , they say something good comes from the heartache, and sharing it with you my friends old and new really really helps. I love you all
mahler	Posted on 07:47AM on Jul 25th, 2008 We are trying to hold you up with the love we are sending, you are so brave because you know the ending that is to come. You and Si are alway in my prayers and I hope that any pain Si may have can be controlled. You are doing a wonderful job, Bless you, and I hope the witch comes to her senses very soon. xx
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